The evening of March 12, 2000 - Tasmania

"You don't see spirits anymore, do you father?"

"Father," even after a few days in the meadow, the word still sounded strange. He watched as little Sima looked quickly away to continue playing with an unseen companion. She giggled gleefully, dancing playfully in the short grass of the meadow, finally bringing her finger to her lips. .

"Shh," she said to the air, "I asked a question."

Jacob pulled his legs underneath him, looking the redheaded girl square in the face. He held the stump of his arm in one hand. Since arriving in the meadow, the stump had begun to itch. He hoped his body was beginning to heal. "No, Sima. I don't."

The little girl plopped down on the ground, crossing her legs in front of her and resting her chin on her hand with an air of precocious seriousness. "Why not?"

Jacob smiled, exhaled with a bit of a huff, unsure how to answer. He had not spoken to any spirit since leaving the Raccoon Sept over a month ago. They no longer taught him gifts, no longer guided him.

"I can't say for sure, Sima. I think I've just been away for too long."

Jacob paused in the hallway, listening to the conversation outside the window.

"Do you think he'll stay?" Susan asked, the sound of a fire cracking behind her.

"I don't know. I certainly see the way he looks at her. I believe he will have a difficult time staying if, when, she leaves," Sunil responded. "I hope he stays."

"I know. I do, too. At one time I couldn't stand the thought of him spending time with the children. That he would corrupt them with his thoughts about Gaia, and now…"

"You've found religion?" Sunil interrupted with a chuckle.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I have a much better understanding of things. What I was saying, though, was that now I see him helping with the children as his responsibility. I also wonder about how much of a relationship they could have now. It's been sixteen years now for Aoife. Her mind is whole. I see, or rather hear," Susan chuckled," that the physical reaction is still strong, but she's a very different person now. I'm not so sure she's quite so attached as she once thought."

"Yes, I have to agree," replied Sunil. "We've spoken of her desire for a spirit quest, a chance to explore the world now that she's healed. Those conversations did not include taking someone with her."

"Yes, I know. We talked about Donal, too," said Susan. "This is not a time for his quest. She needs some time for herself. I just hope Jacob respects her wishes."

"If he truly loves her, he will."

Jacob heard the sounds of a stick poking the embers of the fire.

"Still, I'm not so sure he's not more dangerous now as when he first came here," continued Sunil.

"What do you mean?"

"Jacob's not so favored of Gaia and the spirits right now," Sunil replied. "They do not speak to him. In fact, they avoid him. His hand should have grown back some time ago. His soul is starting to show signs of corruption."

"Do you think he could hurt her, the children?"

"No, if I believed there was an immediate danger, we wouldn't be having a conversation right now. The spirits that guard the children remained committed to that task. They haven't even hinted at danger from Jacob."

"No, Jacob stands at a crossroads with an important decision ahead of him. His path so far has lead him away from Gaia. If all that Aoife has told us is true, he has actively served, literally fed the Wyrm. He's broken the Litany of his people, and they work to strike him down. It doesn't matter what higher intentions or rationalizations drove his actions. The Earth Mother makes the conditions of her power clear."

"Gaia has lead him here as a last chance. But staying here means that he has to face how far he's fallen. It means that he has to put aside what he might want for the benefit of the children and Aoife. Gaia has given him the opportunity to heal, to come back to her, but has not made that decision very easy."

"What's the alternative?" asked Susan.

"It's not completely clear. The spirits show me only glimpses. I know that if he returns to Chicago he faces destruction, or worse."

"Doesn't he see? Doesn't Gaia send him visions?"

"Yes, but he tints their meaning with his own desires. That's how it seems to me. We really haven't spoken of it very much."

"What should we do?" asked Susan.

"The hardest thing, love," replied Sunil. "We wait. We listen. We teach. We learn. We support our children in their times of need, and be ready to catch them if they fall."

Jacob quietly crept away from the window as the couple contemplated the future by firelight. He softly made his way up the stairs to the bedroom, where Aoife lay asleep, exhausted from a long day of berry picking. Taking a seat in the chair by their window, he watched his lover sleep, and contemplated the choices he'd made…

"Gaia, I know my voice has become faint, but I still believe you still have an ear for me when all else is quiet. I would like to thank you for the gifts you have given me, the children, Aoife, even Sunil and Susan. All of these are blessings I may have deserved at one time, and will hopefully deserve again. I thank you for giving them to me when I needed them most, even though I am not worthy of them. I will be.

The children are safe. I will protect them to my death. I will offer them any lessons or knowledge I have that are worthy of them, and learn from them what I have lost. And fear not, if I sense that the influence I have on them is one of corruption, I will be gone before the next moon rises.

And Aoife. I now realize the price paid for her return. I am glad that she has been returned to you. That was always my intention, even if it was a selfish one. I thought the ends would justify the means. Maybe they have, maybe they haven't. How does one weigh the value of one's soul over another? That is beyond my comprehension. I can only assume that since I am here, now, that Aoife was worth the cost. I may regret some of my past, but I would give my life and my soul again for her safety. I could never bear to see her in such a lost state, even more so now, as I know how it feels to be separated from you. And as I sacrificed everything to help her before, I will again. I will not stand in the way of her journey to find her place in your world. I am through being an obstacle to your wishes."

Aoife begins to stir from her sleep. Awaking from what she remembers as a dream of Jacob and the Goddess speaking, she sees the same expression in his face as in her vision. Aoife rubs the sleep from her eyes, and begins to speak.

"She heard you this time, caraid. You are much closer to her heart here, at home, with the children." Aoife pulls on her clothes, her back to Jacob. She turns and approaches the window holding one of the medallions around her neck. "You gave this to me, the other me, at a time when I would not have known if you existed without its help. I have no need of it now. It could be lost to me and I would still know the instant you met your end. The Goddess has welcomed me back into her arms. She waits for you to decide to turn back to her."

"Your path has been difficult from the time of your change to here, now. I know that. It will continue to be rocky for a while, but you have something you lacked in the past. You have a family, a pack who will love and support you. They will help you come back to the bosom of the Goddess, where you have always belonged."

"I must go. It is so very difficult to leave you after so long. My smiodan coisich has waited for too long now. Jacob, you must be daingean, for the children, at the very least." Aoife's eyes are earnest and her hand on Jacob's arm is firm and warm. "We will never be parted for long again in this life, anam cara. This you must believe."

She rises and goes to the door. A faint light from somewhere in the house illuminates her silhouette briefly, then she is gone.

Gaelic Words:

caraid (love)

smiodan coisich (literally "spirit walk")

daingean (strong)

anam cara (soul friend)

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